My Deaf Uncle

It is impossible to predict when any political party or some public groups would call for a Bandh. Of course the reasons are petty most of the times. This time it is due to the demise of veteran Kannada actor.

I received a call from an unknown (local land-line) number. When I attended the call it was 'Deaf' Balu uncle. Since I have two uncles with the same name, most of my relatives identify him only when "Deaf" is prefixed to his name. It is needless to say that he doesn't know about the prefixed name.

"Hello" - I said politely

"Hello, Bhaskar" there was lot of traffic noise on the other end.

"Yes. Bhaskar here. Who is this?"

"It is me, Balu uncle" came in loud voice.

I recognized the voice. "Hello Uncle, how are you. When did you land in here" automatically my voice pitch increased because I am talking to 'Deaf' Balu uncle.

"Not really fine. I have come here this morning and thought of returning by evening. Suddenly some Bandh has been called for, no buses and trains are running"

'Deaf' Balu uncle is into his electronics business in Chennai and visits various cities in India. He runs a small scale electronics business which designs and assembles electronics circuits for simple and small entertainment and day-to-day use applications.

"Yes, I am watching the news on TV"

"How far is this Electronics Bazaar from your place? Can you come and pick me up?" he asked.

"It is not far, give me the exact address I'll come and pick you in 20 minutes" I assured him. I have noted down the address and phone number.

"OK, I am starting right away"

Though he visits Bangalore very often for his business, he never visited me even once in these last 4 years. In general he never socializes with relatives. I don't say he is shy type, as he is very jovial with his friends (of his age group men); that includes my dad. Uncle and my dad were classmates in school days and roommates while working. They stayed together till my dad's marriage. Then uncle married my dad's cousin.

Generally, Balu uncle prefers to stay away from all the family socializing and gossiping. We get to meet him only at two occasions, either marriages or deaths. Rest all the functions and social gatherings are graced by my plump aunt (I don't dare to say fat) and her beautiful slim daughter. Aunt is chatterbox type and uncle is skinny, calm and meek person. On contrary their only daughter is a slim personality with attractive features and complexion.

I was in a dilemma, should I go by car or bike? He is coming to my place for the first time. I should definitely impress him because of his beautiful daughter with whom I am madly in love with. Of course he is innocent about his daughter's love.

I called up Meenu, her colleague answered to tell me that she is doing live coverage of Chennai corporation election results. I changed the TV channel. There she is! In yellow top and blue jeans with mike, Meenu is reporting from the counting station "... It is a tough war for the ruling party as the opposition has won more seats... blah... blah..." I turned the TV off.

Bike would be better as there would be some violence and road block because of the Bandh. If there is any riot, in worst case I can abandon the bike and escape unhurt, with car this may not be possible.

Finally, I kick started my bike, rode through the narrow streets to avoid riots on the main roads. I reached there in 25 minutes of time. The shops were shut. I went to the address and called uncle. The shutter was opened half so that uncle could come out. There was big sigh of relief on his face by seeing me. We safely reached home passing through the narrow lanes. It was 5:30. I gave him my night wears for changing.

Not sure if the news channels are not bored with the repeat play of the same news footages again and again. All the news channels are telecasting the similar visuals on the hot happening of bandh in the Bangalore. We got bored with the news channels. And also about the election results of Chennai corporation.

Uncle couldn't tolerate the TV anymore; he asked me if we have to go out for dinner. 

 In loud voice I asked if he is very hungry.

"Not really now, but need food around 8:30", he said.

"I will cook some food at home; not sure if the hotels in the main road are opened. Else we can go to the 'mess' near by" I suggested.

He nodded his head suspiciously. I went inside the kitchen to start the food preparation. Meanwhile he was browsing my shelves, books, etc. He reached kitchen to check what is happening. I was trying all my best to impress the father of my lover.

"Do we get liquor nearby?" He asked me with a little hesitation. I know he drinks now and then. Not a habitual drinker though.

"There are shops, But they might have closed because of the strike" I replied

"Never bother, you carry on. I will go out for a small walk and check if there are any shops opened" Uncle went out.

After 30 minutes uncle came back and I was done with the cooking.

"All the shops out are closed, only few cyclists and few passer-byes" Uncle complained.

"Uncle, wait a minute. Will be right back" I stepped out.

Went to downstairs to meet landlord. Have seen him many times drinking in his drawing room.

"Hi Bhaskar, How are you? Come in, come in!" Landlord received me.

"I am fine. Do you have any liquor" I asked him. He expressed a big surprise at my question.

"Yes, I have. I thought you never drink"

"No, it is not for me. I have a guest, my uncle from Chennai"

"That's my boy. Wait I'll check"

He brought out two small bottles, one transparent and another reddish brown.

"Not many choices, only two bottles, red wine and champagne. Which one do you want to take?" He asked me as if I know any difference between these.

"I have no knowledge about it. You suggest which one I should offer my uncle?" I stood in confusion.

"If he is very special guest, then take Champagne" Landlord suggested.

I came back with the Champagne bottle. I offered the small cute bottle to my uncle. I could see sparks in his eyes.

"Uncle do you want to take food first?" I asked uncle.

"No, Bhaskar. I'll take food later. Get me a glass and water"

I was studying how he mixes Champagne and water. He did it quite artistically.

"Bhaskar, I don't mind if you want to join. Be like a friend."

"No uncle, I don't drink" I cried. Even if I had a habit, how could I drink in front of a would-be father-in-law?

He started sipping and scanning the TV channels, kept the remote aside when V music appeared on screen. He started singing in jolly mood. The alcohol is doing the trick.

"Bhaskar, do you have office tomorrow?" uncle asked.

I reached the remote to reduce the volume so that he could hear my reply. He waived me not to reduce the TV volume.

"You think I am a deaf?" He asked me straight.

I was not prepared at this question and not able to speak anything and stammered "Mild.... deafness..."

He continued, "Actually, I am not deaf. I am acting mild deafness from 24 years. That is after six months of my marriage" I could see uncle in jovial mood.

"Acting! but why?"

"You know, your Aunt; she is very laziest person one could imagine. She is also a very commanding and demanding person. Your aunt was well brought-up by her parents with all the comforts. After marriage it was everything new for her. She had to manage all the household chores of cooking, cleaning, shopping, etc all by her-self. During those days I genuinely wanted to help her for sometime so that she can slowly learn the household chores. Those days I could afford to spend so much of time helping her around as my job was cool. All the more it was the period where men could go to the end of the world for their newlywed wife. I was fully surrendered to your aunt. Attending her every time she calls for help. She kind of got addicted to all my help and over caring love; and she never bothered to learn to do the house hold-chores alone."

"That's when I was planning to give up my job to start my own business as I had lot of interest in the electronics. I have set-up a small lab at home to experiment my designs. The subject was new, so I had to spend a lot of time at my desk to prove my circuits. Everyday after coming home I eperiment  with my circuits in the lab. Every 10 minute your aunt would call out from the kitchen, sometimes for genuine help, sometimes simply to ask some silly things. Day by day I started feeling that she is becoming more demanding. Sometimes I would be in some important experiment, and she would call me for a silly thing. I would get irritated as I get disturbed for petty things."

"Slowly I started ignoring her calls from the kitchen when I am sitting at my lab desk. She would call out twice or thrice in higher tone. Then she would rush into the lab to ask why I have not responded. For which I innocently ask 'Did you call me, dear? Oh, I haven't heard you'. This continued for some time and she has come to a conclusion that I have mild deafness. This news has slowly spread to all our relatives and friends circles. I didn't want to clarify truth as this idea of mild deaf was very convenient and helpful for me in many ways."

Uncle finished his drink and his story. It was 8:30, I asked uncle to wash hands for dinner. I served him the food which was prepared at most care to impress this 'deaf acting' would-be father-in-law. I didn't need to talk to uncle in high voice during dinner.

I offered him to sleep in the bed room. I came to the living to room to catch-up with Meenu for a regular long phone call before sleep. Meenu was excited about her father's visit to my place. I didn't tell Meenu anything about her father's drink and mild-deaf episode. Talked about general things and ended the phone.

Next day morning uncle didn't talk much and he was back to his shy mood. The bandh was over and the life has begun as usual in the City. I took him to the railway station. He was seated comfortably in the train. I bought him a cool drink bottle and bananas.

The train was about to start, uncle shook my hand "Bhaskar, thanks for everything. Be happy, you don't have to act deaf :) My daughter is such a wonderful and intelligent girl. I am happy that she has chosen a good boy like you. And I am sad that she has not told me about it. She is thinking that I am not aware of it. So I am 'acting blind' to her on this matter."

I tightened my grip, "Uncle, sorry..."

"No, no. Why sorry and all? Call your dad and tell him about your interest towards Meena, he will be very happy".

"Sure Uncle. I'll tell him today itself."

"Take care, my boy. Bye"

"Bye"